Aoc Theme Song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IzR_C…
Head Bangya!!by Baby Metal
AoC Episode 12 Love is an Open Door or so they say…
-Orinda California Noon-
Elsa: (Watching Anna sleep with a bottle of Malibu Rum like a teddy bear) Anna… Anna, its noon, get the fuck up… (In a cheerful voice) Anna, for real wake up!
Anna: (Snort) No no Priest George, I only wanted one tonight... (Snores)
Elsa: (Her eyes looked alarmed) Kay… That was something I didn’t need to know, okay Anna you forced me to this! Wake up! (Elsa pulls off Anna’s covers to reveal a bed covered in beer bottles, Elsa looks amazed and whistles overwhelmed at the amount of boos that the under aged girl had ingested the night before.) Damn girl, you have a real problem.
Anna: (Sets up with her eyes still closed and hair still messed up and grabs a new blanket from under her bed and goes back to sleep instantly)
Elsa: And you have spare blankets! Grrrr... That does it! I’m goanna make a call! You brought this on yourself!
Anna: (Still snoring)
-30 Minutes later-
Ethin: (Very slowly crawls into bed with Anna and takes around her and whispers in her ear) I do cocaine… While I watch you sleep. Your hair smells like apples. (In a creepy stalker Voice)
Anna: That’s...Nice…. (Yawns) Ethin, ETHIN! (Anna sets up and makes eye contact to Ethin with a rose in his mouth, laying in a speedo next to her with champagne. Anna starts to dry scream and point at him slowly getting red from her toes to her face. The camera zooms out to Orinda and a huge scream is herd followed by a gunshot and birds taking flight from the roof.)
-20 minutes later –
Anna: (Walks into the kitchen still her hair messed up with blood shot eyes and still half-dressed from last night just not wearing shoes or pants, she notices Elsa and Olaf looking at her angry with their arms crossed Elsa tapping her foot standing in a very angry stance) …WHAT!
Elsa: YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM! YOU NEED HELP LITTLE GIRL!
Anna: I DO NOT! I’m a princess! Royalty doesn’t have obsessions… (Sits down and pours vodka over her cereal) Besides, Parties and Raves are what popular girls my age do in this dimension. Get over it and stop being a square Elsa.
Elsa: WELL I FOR ONE ACT MY AGE!
Anna: your 21…
-Shift Zone Center City 1:00pm –
(As a huge light fills the sky the people around the city look in disbelief at what they are looking at)
DX: SEE! I’m not a lunatic! Aliens are here and they will destroy us all! I AM A GENUS!
Person standing by DX: No you’re just fat...
DX: DAMN! YOU’RE RIGHT! Wait… That’s no ship coming… It’s oh boy not again! WE ALL NEED TO GET UNDERGROUND! HURRY UP AND RUN THEY WILL CRUSH US ALL! HEY I said run! Can anybody here me?
(a crowd of people look in aww at the lights then scream as a shadow of a sneaker sole slams down on them and with a scream of terror they are pressed into the street. By a huge Designer Sneaker. www.farfetch.com/shopping/men/…
DX: It’s the giant girls… Anybody going to run, why do I even bother…? WELL IF ANYBODY WANTS ME I WILL BE AT B.A.R.T DUCES! (Leaves grumbling and kicking the dirt)
(The Massive shoe lifts up from the ground and the giant it belongs to examines the sole then starts to brush the shoe off in a very OCD manor)
Ryuko: AHH! CRAP MY GIUSEPPE’s! These cost 800 bucks! I got smashed micros on the soles!
Miku: stomps over to Ryuko not caring about what goes under her boots) I told you not to wear you good kicks. For real just go barefoot it’s kind of fun anyway.
Ryuko: (Takes off one shoe and starts cleaning it) FUCKING MICROS, just wait around until I smash you… God you’re all like ants to me anyway! (She sits her Shoes down on the city Limits crushing a few cars and farms under the soles. Ryuko takes her no show pink socks off and stuffs them in her shoes and starts to loom over the city) I’m kind of Squeamish Miku you sure it won’t tickle too much?
Miku: It feels like a nice foot massage to be honest, hella fun.
Ryuko and Miku start to stomp up on Down town Center they are Titan sized and grinning evilly as they loom over the city girl hugging smiling evilly as mobs of people run for their lives)
Ryuko: Oh you better fucking run. RUN FOR YOU PATHETIC MICRO LIVES! (As she lifts her now bare foot over around 100 people running down a street. Ryuko’s foot easy overtakes all of them, and slams down and twists the victims out, her toes are pedicured blue and she leaves them all in a titanic sized foot print) Wow that felt Amazing! (Ryuko brushes off her sole)
DX: HOLY BALLS! That was close! (Wow her feet smell like lavender and silk.) Well at least they smelled a great sent before dying horribly… (He looks into the massive foot print) Yikes! (DX looks up at the two giants looking over the city) Damn they are really hot… And two more of the girls that live in that work in that building. I have to find a way to stop them but that large man that lives up there always gets to me!
Ryuko: (Looks down at DX and kneels down with a bitch grin) ……Worship me!
DX: YES GOD! (He starts worshiping Ryuko at her feet after wetting himself) Hey what can I I say, I’m a craving little coward, and a sheep! BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-Orinda California Arendelle Manor 1:20pm–
Elsa: YOU SO DO HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM YOUNG LADY!
Anna: DON’T CALL ME YOUNG LADY, YOUR ONLY TWO YEARS OLDER THEN ME STUPID!
Elsa: Why don’t you take Olaf for example, he doesn’t have an addiction! What a model citizen.
Olaf: (Sitting at the table eating fruit loops) YEAH, I’m A HAPPY STRAGHT ARROW! …SEC. (He snorts a fat line of blow for a full minuet) …ahhh NOW I’M PERFICT!
Elsa: …Okay bad example, Uh, ETHIN! Wait even worse…
Ethin: Awww nuts… (Sitting at the table still in a speedo eating toast with a solid hole through his stomach.) My chest hurts too…
Elsa: Why don’t you fallow the good example of your fellow Disney made sisters! Kind, Caring, Not addicted to Alcohol!
Anna: I DO! The Err you think I went clubbing with last night! (Cuts to Anna and Mulan screaming and falling over drunk with Tinkerbell at the club last night Viking helmets on chugging beer, surrounded by a collage football team Jasmine giving a lap dance in the back ground.)
Elsa: Okay be like Snow White then!
Anna: You mean the retarded chick who lives with the midgets?
Elsa: YEAH! …No that’s not good. Follow my example! I have no obsessions! Isn’t that what older sisters are for! To be a good example for the baby sister.
Anna: (Anna’s cheeks grow red as blood and she screams under her breath) I guess, I could be more like you Elsa! Thanks for the pep talk. Well, I’m going to get my nails done in San Francisco with Mulan and Tink, you want to come?
Elsa: No, I just got a mani-peddi yesterday thanks. Remember what I said sweetheart. Oh and Anna…
Anna: Yeah sis?
Elsa: You may want to get dressed before you head out.
Anna: (Eyes widen) I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING. (Still in her underwear and top from last night.
-Shift Zone 1:36pm –
Ryuko: (Her foot falls shake the cars on the highway and cause collisions and cracks to form in the street, her soles step down on tiny cars trying to run, with ease they are smashed like tin cans.) I think the cars tickle better than the people. (She steps down and twists on a crowed that tried to beg and worship her for their lives in exchange) Hmmm, I take that back that soft little crunch and pop is nice.
Miku: I know, been on many romps with Micro toys. Oh try this one girl! Use that juicy booty of yours!
Ryuko: Good idea! (Ryuko squats over the city and plants her booty down hard on screaming people and shakes her hips around grinding them in a butt print) Boom boom, lil bitches! You can’t fucking stop me! In fact why don’t you just worship at my towering sexy soles! (Ryuko plants her Heel on a street crushing tons more people, her bare sole towers over the high buildings dwarfing them easy.
-Coco’s Happy Nail Palace 2:00 Pm-
(Tinkerbelle, Mulan and Anna getting their Toes done gossiping)
Anna: Okay get this, my older sis thinks she has no obsessions…. Like she doesn’t have any.
Mulan: Really? Well that sounds so like little miss perfect. She doesn’t even realizes how much she obsesses over Mr. Hale. Does she? Like for real why doesn’t she simply just get a boyfriend? She’s a total babe and a half. (She crosses her legs and starts to read a fashion magazine)
Tinkerbelle: Nonsense ladies, Miss Elsa and Vince are just business partners… your acting totally immature…
Mulan: Oh right I forgot (They both bust up laughing)
Tinkerbelle: Who are we kidding she’s got it so bad, RIGHT COCO!
Coco: You right, Blond lady love him long time… (Painting Tinkerbelle’s toes)
Anna: I just wish she would get off my back, can you girls believe she told me I should be more like her.
Tinkerbelle: Well why don’t you? Ohhoho! I’m thinking bitchy thoughts!
(She grins and claps)
Anna: Go on?
Mulan: Oh I got you! (Giggles) Look simply just (they go into whispers)
-Shift Zone 2:05pm –
Ryuko: (she lays on her side singling out Micros and smashing then with her finger like an ant one by one) SQUISH! And SQUISH! And squish, squish and oh don’t try to run…. (Her finger pins the person down cutting him in half with her nail then slowly steam rolls him slowly. The man screams in agony and pounds the ground as a horrible crunching sound can be heard by the mob of people watching.) See micros that’s what happens when you run. (Ryuko grins and flicks a screaming man into a building splattering him everywhere)
Miku: (Slams her boot down on the rest of the micros.) We should get going, we got only around an hour left to collect more chaos. She twists her boot with her hands on her hips looking down)
Ryuko: Aww I love this so much. So you do this all the time?
Miku: when my energy builds up enough sure, it’s so fun. I know you’ll make a great Angel.
Ryuko: Well that’s… Huh? What the… (A squadron of Jets fly’s past Ryuko’s noise) Oh no, what do we do Miku-chan! Tiny men in jets! I think they want to kill us.
Miku: Holy crap, were doomed! (Sarcastic tone) you tiny BUGS! (Miku swats four at once with one swipe of her hand. The jets incinerate in a fiery explosion) Awww, look your pathetic jets do nothing. Our skin is flawless and thick.
Ryuko: I bet there just pissing there pants in the cockpits. (Ryuko pounces down on a few blocks with her hands and knees making eye contact level with three planes, before they can scramble she opens her mouth and chomps down her teeth trapping the jets in her mouth then swallows in a very innocent cute way.) Wow micros taste great! (Ryuko plucks up a sky rise full of people and opens the roof by pinching it with her fingers and dumping the micros on her tongue.
Miku: Say bye bye, (Miku’s smiles and waves to the screaming people sliding down Ryukos hot throat as her jaws close and then and begins to chew, the screams gain in volume and gurgle and crunch as they are pulverized to a liquid) Did you like your snack my Apprentice Goddess.
Ryuko: (Moans and lays promiscuously on top the city drunk with power. She runs her fingers and arms across the city blocks causing a wave of destruction)
Miku: Yup you are a natural girl! Let’s keep up the pace.
-Styles Inc. 2:07pm–
Vince: Looks like that shift is going well, Time for a nice meat snack… Oh boy I saved this Kangaroo Jerky for the greatest of cravings I did! (Vince searches around and unlocks a hidden safe in the wall. He opens it up only to see an image of Vyers giving thumbs up eating his Jerky with a note that reads. Dear Vince… You suck at hiding your exotic meat snacks from me better luck next time you simpleton. Snort…..
Vince: (Does this but says VYERS) youtu.be/wRnSnfiUI54?t=17s
Elsa: (busts down the door with a pound of jerky and presents it to Vince) HERE I GOT THIS FROM NORWAY! It’s made with WHALE!
Vince: Uhhh thanks luv… You really are a life saver! (Grabs some and eats it awkwardly while Elsa stares at him smiling)
Vince: It tastes like sea cow. So yup! (Elsa puts a feeding bag on Vince full of jerky and starts to brush his hair with a brush) s7d5.scene7.com/is/image/PetsU…
Elsa: I love a man that likes his meat. I’m wonderful at cooking it by the way... (Sitting in his lap now rubbing his chest.)
Vince: That’s nice… Well luv I should be getting back to work… You know in there with the others and that back stabbing low life Vyers! MEAT TAKER!
Elsa: Have another slab! (Anna shoves her away out of nowhere and holds up a platter of beef looking meat)
Anna: Oh don’t eat that lord Vince try this! (She has a fresh grilled slab of Reindeer on a plate) This is the top quality meat straight up from Norway.
Elsa: Anna… what are you doing? (Smiling)
Anna: (Smiles) Being like you! Isn’t that what you wanted? Oh most wise and perfect older sister of mine.
Elsa: …..Oh Hell no,(Anna slams the door crushing Elsa with it and follows Vince into the shift zone monitor room grabbing his butt.) Oh this is war little girl… (Elsa peels the door off her) I just got rid of that Crazy Asian girl… Now you huh! Nothing will get between me and him!
Shampoo: This place seem weird? (Shampoo comes out of a large crate marked do not return)
Terrorist: I KILL YOU! (Holds up an Ak-47)
Shampoo: You have towel on head it funny! (High pitched Shampoo laugh)
Terrorist: ………….. (Runs away crying)
Shampoo: Aww, I sorry? Where is Shampoo? God it smell like ass crack out here… (Shampoo starts walking into the horizon like the hulk www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUWgE0…
-10 Minutes Later -
Elsa: He’s mine understand! Don’t even think of getting between me and him!
Anna: What, I’m just acting like my perfect older bratty sister!
Elsa: (High pitched grrrr) Why do I feel Mulan or Tink had something to do with this!
Anna: What ever do you mean?
Vince: Girls… you crushing my lap… (Both girls are sitting on Vince’s lap arguing)
Both: Sorry Vince!
Elsa: Look Lord Vince, I got you a nice soft pillow. Now you can watch WWE in extreme Comfort!
Vince: Thanks luv… Really I’m fine go paint your toes or whatever you girls do…
Simsda: IT’S CALLED A PEDICURE FOOL GET IT RIGHT!
Vince: Kay… Sorry, Debby your foot fetish is showing again!
Simsda: Huh where! Where is it (Simsda falls out the window and Wilhelm screams all the way down)
Ethin: damn… that works every time…
Yoko: YOU ALWAYS FORGET YOU CAN FLY NUMB NUTS! Hold on babe I’m coming! (Yoko grabs a wheel chair) Dumbass..
Anna: Oh screw that pillow shit! (She tosses it away and hits Konata who trips and lands face first on the flat stove and screams as her face is grilled. I, Lord Vince bought you a new LA-Z Boy Deluxe Massage chare JUST SIT YOUR LARD ASS DOWN ON THIS MOTHER! It Massages your butt back and legs! Complete with warmer and drink cup holder! And get this, Elsa….. It has a bacon despiser too! Anna grins and glairs at Elsa who is turning blood red and catching a blaze)
Vince: Sits in the chare with this look on his face www.wallpaperno.com/thumbnails…
Elsa: (Her eyes Widen and she dawns a Valkyrie war helmet) Oh this is war little girl!
Anna: BRING IT FROST HAG! (She picks up a battle axe out of nowhere)
Vince: This is goanna be a very long day…
this song starts to play to a montage of Vince trying to get away from the sisters.)
A: Vince is trying to watch TV and they keep bringing him new better snacks dressed in skimpier outfits Anna always winning of course Vince doesn’t care.
B: Vince is trying to do paper work and they both start poll dancing Elsa try’s to sabotage Anna but trips and falls out the window then comes back with her hair all messed up while Anna sits in Vince’s lap.
C: Vince is cooking Eggs but Elsa pushes him out of the way and out the window and makes him a large nice omelet but Anna has a frittata.
D: Vince is fishing on a boat while he is catching tons of fish that Elsa below is hooking on for him. Anna hooks on a shark…
E: Vince is playing a game of Chest with Konata she’s about to win but Anna comes from behind and stabs her then knocks over her king. While Elsa was only going to help him cheat.
-Shift Zone 2:55 pm –
Miku: (Stomps down a whole street trampling it mercifully and kicking over the final building_ you all finished girl?
Ryuko: I think so, nothing left of dis bitch. Hey I just realized something? How does this work, Did we squish styles Inc. or something?
Miku: No, when the bubble hits it basically transports a copy of the target city to a void dimension. We thought of that a while back and came up with this. That way outside the bubble or Cosmic shell all life goes as normal.
Ryuko: Oh wow, so that’s how it works. I never knew that.
Miku: Meh they make it up as they go along..
-B.A.R.T Park Station- 2:01pm
DX: And I barely got out with my life! I’m telling you there be giant’s among us! Giant sexy teenage girls from outer space! SOMEBODY LISTEN TO ME!
Hobo: You’re insane! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
DX: (He laughs screams) Twenty minutes ago you all were down here with me screaming your heads off! Look that’s them! The girl on the billboard! The new Angel for Styles Juniper! Her real name is Ryuko Matoi The sexy as hell vixen on that poster dressed in outfits I would have to save up for months to own!
(B.A.R.T Voice Ping…Nine car train for Pittsburg Bay Point in ten minutes, five car train for Richmond in 7 minutes)
Woman: will somebody get this crazed fat guy out of here?
B.A.R.T Cop: Let’s go pal you been hitting the sauce too much. (DX is tossed out of the underground B.A.R.T Station to see that nothing was crushed destroyed or smashed nothing had happened again)
DX: How … Why does this happen? (He looks at his tapes and it’s all blank) I recorded them I know I did! I had proof! I had proof!
-The Next day 11:40am –
Anna: (In the bath house with Mulan and Jasmine) HAH! She’s so pissed! I knew every move she would make to try to win over Vince. (Opens a bottle of wine) Cheers girls! Great bitchy idea to mess with miss prissy. All bitch minds think alike!
Mulan: (Sips the glass of wine) Sweet! Where is she now Anna?
Anna: Meh, I don’t know she didn’t come back last night. (Anna lifts her leg out of the water to examine her toes and leg then paces it back in the water.)
Jasmine: WAIT! She didn’t come back? ANNA! Your sister is missing! If Vince found out he would…
(Jasmin’s thought bubble: www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwK…
Jasmine: Hmmmmmmm, YOU HAVE TO FIND HER!
Anna: she’s probably at Zelda’s or something blowing off steam, Well in Ice queens case ……………………NOT STEAM!
Mulan: What did you guys fight about anyway?
Anna: She was all up on me and I go tired of it!
Mulan: On you about what?
Anna: Oh how I have a slight drinking problem.
Mulan: (Looks at Jasmine) YOU DO!
Anna: Oh get off my back I do not! (Drunk)
Jasmine: you’re as bad as Ethin!
Ethin: (Sitting beside them in the hot tub with his clothes on) yeah, calm your tits boo…. (Drinks down Windex) I’m a bad influence!
Anna: Shit your right! (Cries loudly) I’m a bad person! But I’m still cute as fuck!
Jasmine: So this is all about something small and also true! Dammit Anna! Now I feel bad! We thought she was just being Elsa! Not being a concerned older sister!
Mulan: I’m sure Elsa will come around…
Connie: (Kicks open the door with glowing red eyes) YOU THREE! IN THE MAIN ROOM NOW!! ETHIN I”LL KICK YOUR ASS LATER FOR BEING IN THE BATH HOUSE AGAIN!
Ethin: that’s what you think, He sings this and disappears like the cat youtu.be/cEAysdnvW-0
Anna: Oh boy… We are boned…
-20 minutes later 9:20am–
Anna: Look we said it was a joke! Sorry Lizzy!
Elizabeth: (Looking pissed in a bikini) ¿Qué demonios has hecho para perras Elsa !
Grim: Hmm that’s Mexican for you guys fucked up!
Jasmine: What’s the problem Lizzy? Since when would you care about a practical joke?
Elizabeth: Oh I don’t know, perhaps the seven feet of snow on my deck! Also hi? Did your lunkheads forget what happened last time you played a joke on each other?
Mulan: Wait a damn second you were in on that too!
Elizabeth: that’s not the point! ANNA! FIX THE SNOW! OR I WILL TURN YOU INTO A KIWI! (The transmission stops)
Anna: Tell Ethin to bring the silver hawk around… I better head out… (She’s suiting up in a jump suit)
Connie: Since when do you have the authority to use the jet? Also the jump suits are for real emergencies! Not you being bitch to your crazy sister!
Anna: Elsa has the car! How else am I going to get to Tahoe?
-On Route 50 to Tahoe Pollock Pines California-
(Cuts to Anna on a senor Day trip bus with a scowl on her face while the old ladies talk about when they were her age.)
Old Lady: That’s when I last saw him sink into the Ocean I told him I’ll never let go. 1200 people went into the Ocean that night only 700 made it out.
Anna: This can’t get sadder…
Old Man: Wait, oh no there’s plums in my fruit cup! (Oh they give me gas something fierce!)
(After a fart sound Anna screams and try’s to open the window her screams echo across the land)
(Every Senor starts to complain about everything, while farting from the fruit)
Anna: (Presses her face up on the widow) FREEDOM!
The Tour Guide: Okay Seniors…. And and whore..
The Tour Guide: It’s time for a singalong! Ready! (Pulls out a guitar and starts to sing just like the clip even if it’s a young woman. The seniors start to dance and fart in their seats and scream the chorus) www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5Lpw…
Anna: It’s from hell! (Cries) It’s from hell!
- Heavenly Mountain Resort Noon-
Tombo: (with his Viking helmet on) This must be the lair of the Ice demon blighting out summer for my “sweet elven princess from space goddess of all time soft smells like candy never mean looks great in a bikini”
14 minutes later…..
Tombo: good at math Elizabeth. DON’T WORRY LIZZY YOUR DOVAKIEN IS GOING TO SAVE YOU FROM EVER LASTING WINTER! HAVE AT THE JACK FROST! (He charges up the mountain in a blaze of glory a whole ten feet then collapses from running face first in the snow)
-2 hours later –
Tombo: I think I found it! I went so far! My journey was long and tiresome! He says this next to the ski lift while people are riding up looking at Tombo announce his triumph over the mountain)
Little Girl: Daddy! Is that Olaf from Frozen!
Dad: WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT STUPID! YOU’RE WALKING HOME!
Elsa: Can you shut up I’m brooding here…. (Elsa sticks her head out of the Ice castle door.)
Tombo: You’re a girl? Wait…You look like Elsa from Disney’s Frozen!
Elsa: I am Elsa from Frozen! Dude you know who I am you’re the one that gets into the shoes us girls leave at Styles!
Tombo: Perish the thought Ice Witch! My Goddess has ordered me to slay you and bring back summer!
Elsa: Lizzy said that?
(Flash back to Lizzy) Lizzy: GO FOURTH TOMBO THE BRAVE AND SLAY THE ICE DEMON UP ON THE MOUNTAIN! THEN YOU SHAL WIN A KISS FROM UHHH ME! SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT!
Tombo: Yes my lady fair HAZAH!!! (He goes riding off on a moped.
Olivia: why did you send him up to fight Elsa? He will probably die…
Elizabeth: YUP! HEY WHOS A GIRL WHO CAN KEEP A SECRET! (Hands her Inside out dolls)
Olivia: ME! ME! ME!
Tombo: Now unguarded Ice demon behold my battle axe of brawn it has a plus 30 to ice magic DE buff on it pretty boss huh!
(Elsa freezes the cardboard axe and it shatters with a single puff of frost)
Tombo: Oh hamburgers… (Starts to beg) PLEASE DON’T KILL ME ICE GODDESS! I WANT TO LIVE!
Elsa: (Rolls her eyes and slams the door)
Tombo: Thankyou snow goddess for sparing my peasant life! (He looks inside to see Elsa sitting in solitude alone) Say? What’s wrong oh hot girl?
Elsa: Just leave me in peace! (She wipes a tear from her eye)
Tombo: Hey why are you up here anyway? (He walks through the ice door like a bulldozer)
Elsa: I’m a failure at life and can’t win the man I love because my little sister with her smile and perky tits is better at it then me! WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?
Tombo: Anna? Well it’s like this my ice flower….She’s a whore.
Elsa: So, I dance topless at that bar of lord Vince’s too!
Tombo: True but how many men does Anna date a week…
Elsa: More then you ever have in your life..
Elsa: Wow dude what are you like 30?
Tombo: I am 41 ½ Besides Elizabeth is the only one for me!
Elsa: You stalk her and lick her shoes… and her feet… and clean her pool and fix her computer even if her IQ is like above super genus…
Tombo: YES and by doing all that she lets me smell her perfume when she puts it on just before having sex….with a guy much hotter than me!
Elsa: OH GOD I’m TALKING TO a TOTAL LOOSER! (Sobs)
Tombo: Look I can help you win over Vince! Just believe in me and everything will be clear (Poor’s skittles in his mouth for a minuet)
Elsa: God… don’t choke…
-20 minutes later –
Elsa: Hey Tombo? You sure this will help me become better at winning Lord Vincent’s love?
Tombo: Absolutely my snow flower! Trust in me and you will learn the ways of the stalker! (As Elsa runs through the swamp from Star Wars with Tombo riding on her back like Yoda.)
Elsa: (Out of breath) If you say so! (She flips over a creek and runs past a stalk Star Wars Monster) I don’t think I’m in Tahoe anymore!
-Anna Riding The Gondola up the mountain At Heavenly-
Anna: Elsa hold on I’m sorry please stop freezing summer again! AND PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE GIRL! (Anna glairs at the operator) HEY POOR KID YOU TELL WHY PHONE NO WORK!
Kid Operating the Gondola: Uh because you’re in the middle of nowhere… Also you can talk to me normal.
Anna: ANNA NEED PHONE! UN ATRACTIVE MOUNTAIN HICK BOY HELP NOW! I FROM CITY NEED PHONE! BAY AREA! YOU FIX!
Kid: Yeah, We have them up here too…
Anna: CORDLESS! SEEE WOW SHINY FIX HICK!
Kid: You’re insane aren’t you? Well none the less it’s time to get off, late! (He pulls a chain and Anna falls out of the Gondola screaming from high up) God people from the Bay Area are weirdos. But good god was she hot. I recognized her from something...
-The Dagobah System (Aka Tahoe uhh someplace…what?)-
Elsa: Oh I just can’t get it! I’m a failure at stalking! (She’s balancing and levitating rocks like in Star Wars with the force)
Tombo: (Now eating a Burrito from Taco Bell dressed as a very bad Yoda and sitting on a rock.) Trust in your inner stalker for it will guide your way!
Elsa: OH FACE IT ITS IMPOSSIBLE! ALSO…Where the ERR are we and why are you dressed like a 7-up mascot!
Tombo: I am the Jedi master Yoda I am invincible! Behold my awesome powers mortal! (He takes out a lightsaber toy and makes noises and slashes it around like a dumbass until he catches his robe and tears it off while slashing stripping him to his underwear and panics from embarrassment, then tumbles down the mountain)
Elsa: Wowzers… Okay Elsa don’t panic, your lost yes, in a strange……..The fuck am I anyway?
George Lucus: You’re in the Dagobah System! (Dressed as an Ewok)
Elsa: Yeah, thanks pal… (Elsa slowly backs away starring at Lucus watching her smiling) she runs away after a fair distance away.
Anna: Okay… I’m out in god knows where and cares, Looking for my crazy ass sister, Okay we can do dis! Nothing can stop my progress, I am a Valkyrie worrier woman, and I am strong! (She she’s a spider in tree) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Anna runs into the night screaming)
Elsa: (Running from the crazed hillbilly’s screaming they both run into each other and hug and cry) ….ANNA?
Anna: ELSA! I found you!
Elsa: I don’t want to be found… Please Anna go back to Center and be with Vince.
-Full house Hug theme plays -
Anna: Elsa? Why is it every time something bad happens you go up in the mountains…. Besides, I was kidding silly, I don’t love Vince.
Elsa: you don’t?
Anna: Hell no, He’s like my daddy dude… I was just messing with you because you made me mad.
Elsa: Wait what?
Anna: Yeah…. Sorry sis… You’re always so superior to me in every way. I was just mad I can’t be like you. (Pouts) Anyway I need a lift home you ready to go?
Elsa: Oh sure Anna…. However you’re walking…. Have fun taking the bus or some shit… (Leaves) Pull a fast one on me will you.
Anna: It was a joke and Mulan’s fault! ELSA!! WAIT don’t leave me here! Damn…. Now what do I do…
Tombo: Ohhh my head hurts…
Anna: Hey Tombo, I’ll let you touch my feet, if you give me a lift back to Center.
Tombo: Actual contact! (He lifts off like a rocket and comes barreling up the mountain like a bat out of hell In his shitty hatch back) your carriage awaits my princess!
Anna: Well it couldn’t get any worse than this… At least I don’t have to walk.
(Cuts to Tombo speeding down Highway 50 singing at the top of his lungs the my little pony theme)
Anna: (Screaming at the top of her lungs) Make it stop for god sakes! Oh my god I’m sitting on (Anna pulls up a half-eaten Burrito from the seat) Oh god this is hell!
-Styles Inc 8:00pm-
Anna: Well at least that ordeal is over and everything is back to normal.
Vince: and what did you two girls learn?
Elsa: That Tombo is a huge dork king of Potsie like proportions? Who likes taco bell WHY too much.
Anna: Hey you didn’t have to ride back with sir farts allot!
Elsa: HAHA! Its funny cuz he fat!
Vince: so both of you didn’t learn a thing?
Elsa: No… What the fuck you think this is Sesame Street?
Anna: Well I’m still rich popular, and pretty all is well.
Elsa Oh, by the way you forgot about him…
Tombo: We had a contract my pet!
Anna: Oh yeah, you can give me a foot massage just wash your hands first.
Tombo: Oh I’m afraid it’s more than that my princess.
Anna: No fat ass, I said you could touch my feet…
Tombo: Did you not sigh the contract? Remember at the Chevron in Sacramento!
Anna: Yeah sure…
Vince: You didn’t read it did you.
Tombo: I Anna Arendell owe Tombo Williams one dinner and a movie plus being my girlfriend for a month.
Anna: Oh nonononono!
Maya: (Laughs uncontrollably choking on her joint)
Tombo: You breach the contract you go to jail. Now put this on and meet me in my parlor.
Vince: (Giggles) Have fun with prince Chester luv (Vince and Elsa start laughing)
Anna: Fuck my life…
Vince: Serves you right now march.
-20 Minutes Later –
Anna: It doesn’t get much worse than this…
Mulan: why do I have to be here fool!
Anna: It was your idea now help me pay the price!
Mulan: Dressed as a Twilek dancer Oola img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20…
) Besides why do you get to be Leia!
Anna: Shut up and just dance this isn’t as easy as it looks! (She’s lying next to Tombo on a slab while he eats a ton of Cheetos watching Mulan Dance. Konata pops out of his fat looking like Salacious B crumb and does this www.youtube.com/watch?v=amBByw…
) He smells like sweat and Pop Tarts
Mulan: (She’s being watched by a fat nerd in a poor Bolba fett costume) Get away before I go full Asian on you!
Nerd: Do you like my Boba Fett Twilight Sparkle costume! I’m considered a houmongo in the world of cos play!
Mulan: Oh that’s…..sad. Look i have friends who have ahem a LIFE! You smell like sweat and Candy that’s not landing you me! Bye now! (She dances away)
Anna: How much longer do I have to do this…
Tombo: Hooo hooo hooo hoooooo (He talks like Jabba)
Anna: Wont somebody save me! That plays as all the nerds dance to it and force Mulan too while screaming www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykrUO2…
(Ryuko and Miku walk in the room after coming back from the bathhouse and they look puzzled)
Ryuko: Koko ni sumu kimyona hitobito o kensaku… (Such Strange People who live here)
Miku: Anata wa kentogatsukanai (You have no idea)
Mulan and Anna scream for help but Miku and Ryuko just grin and hold up there smart phones)
Ryuko: Can you say Twitter!
Miku: I CAN!
The Nerds all pause and stair in aww)
Nerd: Two hot Japanese Girls, there like gods to us! They all do this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmdEg3…
Ryuko: Uhhh The geek is strong with them…
Miku: And unwashed socks..
-Aboard Eldric Battleship Quinn-
Alexa: (the same Siren seen at the end of aftermath) the logs are all here master. I have the exact coordinates of Hales base of Operations. (She has her Katana Out and thrusted into something) I see my two sisters are doing well, Oh this is to funny it seems that the humans are now trying to make synthetic admins. We could use this. (She takes her blade out and blood squirts everywhere in a blood fountain)
Sabastian: Very good my dearest, now return home to me. He says this while rubbing another sirens chin almost like a cat) Oh and leave no evinced make it look like an accident will you?
Alexia: My pleasure… She Opens all Air locks and quickly phases out while this plays to her walking opening up the hatches) www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMJC9Z…
(The ship explodes in a huge energy blast)